Being with a horse is a unique experience, and if you haven't had the opportunity to enjoy this feeling, I will try to describe it.
Horses have an uncanny way of making you feel seen. If you have ever felt like people just don't get you or that you aren't good enough, spend an hour with a horse and that feeling will be gone. You don't have to say a word to a horse and they will make you feel valid & whole on a cellular level. Or, talk to a horse about everything you can think of and they will make you feel heard & accepted.
This a brief, ableit incomplete, way to describe what it feels like to have a horse as a friend. So often, people that are around horses express preffering horses over people because the horse makes them feel..
feel safe,
seen,
valued,
appreciated,
loved.
Horses freely give us what we most desire in our relationships with other people.
And what does it feel like when we find this type of bond with another person after years of built trust from all of your four-legged friends? It can feel like the planets and stars were created just for that moment. As if life had been walking me on the path to this point in time. The concept of self preservation didn't exist. I knew nothing could pull me away unless I pulled myself away.
.png)
Here is the difference between a friendship with a horse and a friendship with a human. A horse will only break your heart once, and it is never their fault. This heartbreak only happens in the moment when they leave this life to run in the eternal grass field beyond the veil. Up until that point, horses spend their whole life showing people unconditional love & empathy.
Humans are much more complicated and messy. They'll break your heart without realizing it, and if given the chance, they have the potential to do it more than once. When I finally made the choice to walk away from the friendship where another person made me feel fully seen, fully safe, I experienced a fall out that I didn't have a plan for dealing with. I left feeling over exposed and vulnerable to the point of emptiness. I imagine it is the same feeling a horse has when its herd abandons it as the weakest link to be eaten by the lion.
In the end, I was devoured.
At first, I tried to push through my emotions. Boss babe through the pain, right? Emotions shouldn't be able to hold me back. Yet, every time I put my self out there, tried to be seen, sent a broadcast into the ethers, I only felt more invisible, more translucent.
After a month of trying to push through, I had to admit defeat. I unplugged and I hid. In an attempt to be alone, I started to reflect on all the time the horse-girls had been there for me. Through the simple act of holding space while cleaning a stall together, or a kind word in passing. It made me realize that equestrians are just trying their best to mimic the values of the horse in their relationship with each other.
I understand this hasn't always been the status quo in the equine industry, and there are probably still facilities out there that can't even begin to comprehend the purity of a friendship with a horse. But, this isn't about them. Years ago, it was common conversation for equestrians to "hate other people" or "to be so happy this was a solo sport". That mentality has shifted, and it is a shift I have supported since before it was in fashion. We are starting to see equestrians rally together like never before.
Barns, farms, stables and ranches have the means to be strong community hubs, and I want to push this thought forward with a more progressive edge. How can equestrian facilities play a bigger role in building community?
- Through maintaining a community food garden
- With a shared flock of chickens, ducks or other poultry for egg sales
- Allowing members of the community access to horses in exchange for low stress labour
The list could surely be pages longer. If these ideas stir a desire in you to build a stronger community in your neighborhood, let's chat. There is so much goodness to create in this world, and it is up to use to be the creators.
Comments